Anger
The second stage of grief that people experience is anger. While denial helps with the initial shock of receiving unpleasant news, eventually it no longer masks the pain. When denial stops working, the natural response is to turn to anger. The anger response is a result of the vulnerable feeling we go through and is redirected outwards.
Anger is typically directed at others even though we know they are not responsible for the situation. In many cases the anger is a result of believing the person who has passed away is the one responsible for causing the pain. In reality, we understand how irrational it is to think like that which can then create feelings of guilt.
Bargaining
Eventually, we reach the point of bargaining as a way to try and improve the situation. Bargaining is done in an attempt to try and regain control of the situation. As is often the case, we can be left feeling vulnerable or helpless after a loved one’s passing. The bargaining stage is where we try to stop those feelings.
Secretly people may try to make a deal with God or a higher power in order to postpone the inevitable. Common phrases people have during this stage include:
- If only we had sought medical attention earlier...
- We should have consulted with another doctor for a second opinion...
- I shouldn’t have let them drive in that weather..
Depression
The depression stage usually begins around the time leading up to the funeral service. Typically, it occurs in two distinct parts. The first stage is a reaction to the practical implications of loss. This can include worrying about paying for the funeral service or wondering if you have planned a meaningful enough service. It is also quite common to feel like you haven’t spent enough time comforting others that depend on us.
The second stage of depression is often more personal and more private. It occurs in the hours leading up to a loved one’s funeral service. As we prepare ourselves to say goodbye, its normal to experience many different emotions and feel uneasy. Sometimes, all you need is a hug and someone to lean on.
Acceptance
The fifth and final stage is acceptance. For some people dealing with a loss, this stage may never be reached. If a loved one’s death was unexpected or sudden, it can be hard for some to ever move past the anger or denial stages. When we finally reach the acceptance stage, it means we have made peace with the situation.
A common misconception is that if you reach acceptance you find happiness. In actuality, the acceptance stage is a phase marked by withdrawal and calm. No matter what situation or stage you are in, it’s is important to know that there are people dedicated to helping you grieve. Our caring and compassionate staff can help you through the grieving process with advice and resources
How to Manage Your Grief
The first year without someone you love will not be easy. You’re going to need to lean on others for support, feel alone at times, and some days just feel empty inside. These are all parts of the journey. That first year may seem like an eternity, but there are ways to deal with the pain you’re experiencing and learn to cope with the loss.
While everyone may experience grief differently, these 3 solutions may help you through the grieving process and make that first year a little bit easier.
Don’t Rush
Far too often people don’t take enough time to just be sad. They see others magically get over the loss and feel like something is wrong because they are still upset about it. Take your time and don’t rush, if you need to spend a week or two crying and watching sad movies on repeat, do it.