The Importance of A Funeral Service
The Importance of A Funeral Service
An Article by: Roger Glenn Sept
The death of her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II should clearly demonstrate the need of tradition and ritual of a funeral service. Witnessing the throngs of people lining the motorcade as Queen Elizabeth II moves from one location to another, the interaction between the Royals and citizens, the need for visitation, the signing of Memorial Books even in places like Medicine Hat all demonstrate the importance of custom. Queen Elizabeth, herself, admitted that they had made a grievous error in judgment by being totally reclusive for ten days when Princess Diana was so tragically taken. She realized the world was grieving and needed to grieve with them, and that they too needed to grieve with the world. The Royals have clearly learned from this. They are out meeting with the people, walking in the motorcade, accompanying their mother from one location to another. Not only do the British need to see this, but so do the Commonwealth Countries, if not the world. We all need to take a lesson from this and realize a funeral is not for the person who has died, but for the people left grieving the loss of a very dear loved one or friend. The funeral allows people to grieve together, comfort each other, and remember why the person who died is so important to them.
Some of you will guffaw and say this is entirely different—the Queen was head of state and most of us do not remember any other monarch, so it is expected that they do this. However, don’t forget the Royals are people, they eat, breathe the same air, have emotions, are devoted to family, etc. It does not matter who passes away, they are a king or queen in some people’s lives. I am not saying one has to have all the fanfare that we are seeing on television, but one needs to realize that acknowledgment and the need to grieve is very important to mental health and it also teaches our children that life is indeed meaningful and should not be merely tossed to the side. Someone once said, “The rise and fall of civilizations hinge on how well we treat the dead.” By that, the author means that we are to recognize the importance of all life and the contributions the deceased has made to family, community, country, and even the world. It teaches respect!
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., a world-renowned grief/loss facilitator has written a paper, “Why is the Funeral Ritual Important?” written December 16, 2016. He states, “Rituals are symbolic activities that help us, together with our families and friends, express our deepest thoughts and feelings about life’s most important events” He goes on to say, “The funeral ritual, too, is a public, traditional and symbolic means of expressing our beliefs, thoughts and feelings about the death of someone loved. Rich in history and rife with symbolism, the funeral ceremony helps us acknowledge the reality of the death, gives testimony to the life of the deceased, encourages the expression of grief in a way consistent with the culture’s values, provides support to mourners, allows for the embracing of faith and beliefs about life and death, and offers continuity and hope for the living.” He goes on and states, “Unfortunately, our mourning-avoiding culture has to a large extent forgotten these crucial purposes of the meaningful funeral. As a death educator and grief counselor, I am deeply concerned that individuals, families and ultimately society as a whole will suffer if we do not reinvest ourselves in the funeral ritual.” His article further explores how the authentic funeral helps address the six reconciliation needs of mourning. To read this article in its entirety click on this link https://www.centerforloss.com/2016/12/funeral-ritual-important
Some of you will say, yes, but that is “well fine and dandy” but this article was written prior to the Pandemic. “We weren’t able to have ‘normal’ funerals. Psychologist Christy Denckla states “funeral and related rituals are ‘fundamental to how we mourn, to how we grieve, to how we reinforce social ties.’” December 14, 2020, write in the middle and worst of the Pandemic she writes concerning its effects on grieving and offers some suggestions to people who were left grieving alone during that time. To see her short video or read what she has to say please click on this link https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/12/14
Some of you will guffaw and say this is entirely different—the Queen was head of state and most of us do not remember any other monarch, so it is expected that they do this. However, don’t forget the Royals are people, they eat, breathe the same air, have emotions, are devoted to family, etc. It does not matter who passes away, they are a king or queen in some people’s lives. I am not saying one has to have all the fanfare that we are seeing on television, but one needs to realize that acknowledgment and the need to grieve is very important to mental health and it also teaches our children that life is indeed meaningful and should not be merely tossed to the side. Someone once said, “The rise and fall of civilizations hinge on how well we treat the dead.” By that, the author means that we are to recognize the importance of all life and the contributions the deceased has made to family, community, country, and even the world. It teaches respect!
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., a world-renowned grief/loss facilitator has written a paper, “Why is the Funeral Ritual Important?” written December 16, 2016. He states, “Rituals are symbolic activities that help us, together with our families and friends, express our deepest thoughts and feelings about life’s most important events” He goes on to say, “The funeral ritual, too, is a public, traditional and symbolic means of expressing our beliefs, thoughts and feelings about the death of someone loved. Rich in history and rife with symbolism, the funeral ceremony helps us acknowledge the reality of the death, gives testimony to the life of the deceased, encourages the expression of grief in a way consistent with the culture’s values, provides support to mourners, allows for the embracing of faith and beliefs about life and death, and offers continuity and hope for the living.” He goes on and states, “Unfortunately, our mourning-avoiding culture has to a large extent forgotten these crucial purposes of the meaningful funeral. As a death educator and grief counselor, I am deeply concerned that individuals, families and ultimately society as a whole will suffer if we do not reinvest ourselves in the funeral ritual.” His article further explores how the authentic funeral helps address the six reconciliation needs of mourning. To read this article in its entirety click on this link https://www.centerforloss.com/2016/12/funeral-ritual-important
Some of you will say, yes, but that is “well fine and dandy” but this article was written prior to the Pandemic. “We weren’t able to have ‘normal’ funerals. Psychologist Christy Denckla states “funeral and related rituals are ‘fundamental to how we mourn, to how we grieve, to how we reinforce social ties.’” December 14, 2020, write in the middle and worst of the Pandemic she writes concerning its effects on grieving and offers some suggestions to people who were left grieving alone during that time. To see her short video or read what she has to say please click on this link https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/12/14