Preparing for a Funeral Service

Preparing for a Funeral in Medicine Hat

Loss is something that everyone experiences during their life. However, if you are responsible for planning a funeral for the first time, you might be unsure how to plan a funeral service when someone dies. In addition to dealing with the grief of losing someone, you now have the responsibility to handle the funeral arrangements. It’s natural to feel confused or overwhelmed about this. But rest assured, we have the experience and resources to help you plan a meaningful service of remembrance.  

If you have recently experienced the loss of a loved one, please accept our condolences and know that our staff is here to assist you. If you’re unclear about what to do when someone dies, we would be honoured to work with you and tailor a service that meets your family’s needs. In the meantime, we’ve created a funeral planning guide to help you navigate what lies ahead.
Preparing for a Funeral Couple Consoling Each Other

What to do When Someone Dies

Preparing for a funeral and ensuring you honour your loved one with dignity and respect doesn’t have to be complicated or stressful. Our caring and dedicated staff will be here from the first call until long after the service has ended to provide the support and resources you need. If you have any questions, we would be happy to speak with you so that you can make informed decisions. To help you get started with preparing for a funeral, check out our funeral planning checklist below.

Funeral Arrangements Checklist

  1. Contact the funeral home and arrange for the removal of your loved one from the place of death. 
  2. Review the deceased's will. If the will does not specify the deceased's preference for burial or cremation, you must choose between the two. 
  3. Consider funeral expenses. Think about what your family can afford and how you will pay. 
  4. If you wish to hold a ceremony, you must choose the type of ceremony – a traditional funeral, a memorial service, a celebration of life, etc. 
  5. Meet with one of our funeral directors to create and finalize the funeral arrangement details. 
  6. Select the appropriate funeral products and accessories to help honour your loved one – a casket, headstone, urn, flowers, prayer cards, photos, etc. 
  7. Choose the music or hymns to be played during the service. 
  8. Make a note of any important details you or the deceased would want in the obituary. 
  9. If your loved one was in the military, see if they are eligible for veteran death benefits. 
  10. Organize who will recite prayers, the eulogy, and other remarks during the ceremony. Also, select the prayers to be said and prepare the eulogy. 
  11. Think about logistics. Plan where the ceremony will take place, the valet to pick up your family members, and how your loved one will be transported. You may need to consider which church to have the funeral at and which cemetery your loved one should be laid to rest. 
  12. Notify family and friends of when and where the ceremony will take place. 

What To Do After The Funeral/ Other Things To Do When Someone Dies

Even after the funeral arrangements have been completed, other tasks need to be tended to. In most cases, the estate's executor will handle many of these. With that in mind, if you are arranging the funeral service details, you will likely share some of the responsibility for settling the estate as well. 


Please keep in mind, this information should be used as guidance only and not actual legal advice. You should speak with an attorney if you have any questions about settling an estate.

Fianances and Property

When someone passes away, their accounts are not automatically closed, and property ownership isn’t immediately transferred. Upon learning of a loved one’s passing, the executor(s) should locate the deceased’s will to review any bank accounts, investments, creditors, benefits, insurance policies, and any other legal or financial accounts that are open in the deceased’s name. 


After reviewing the will, they need to notify any businesses with ongoing business with the deceased. This is very important as these institutions need to know if payments should be suspended. Lastly, the executor should review and decide whether to delete or close any online accounts of the deceased.

Children and Pets

If the deceased has any minor children or pets, they must be cared for. The executor should review the will and consult with family and friends to determine whose care the children or pets will be placed in. In the case of children, the deceased’s will likely state who will become the children’s legal guardian.

planning a funeral service funeral wake or visitation

Dressing for the Occasion

What is expected of us when attending a funeral service today is far different from the expectations of those living in the Victorian era. According to Alison Petch, a researcher Oxford University, "In those years, black clothing was worn for the funeral and for a year following the death...by close relatives, gradually being replaced by other dark colours." 

As we moved into the twentieth century, the Roman and Victorian demands became less strict. "People attending a funeral wore semi-formal clothing, which for adult men would usually mean a suit and tie in dark colours."

Without a doubt, these strict special dress requirements have fallen by the wayside, at least to some degree. Although many websites proclaim that black is the right colour to wear for a funeral today, wearing a colour other than black isn't seen as disrespectful; but you want to avoid wearing brightly coloured or wildly patterned fabrics (unless actually requested to do so by the family). And for women or girls, a modest appearance is preferred.

Certainly, if you've got additional questions about what to wear to a funeral, call us.

Get Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally Prepared

The death of a loved one is among the most stressful experiences we will ever endure. The early days of bereavement, are a time of frayed nerves, when emotions run high and hours of restful sleep are hard to find. These difficult days are then followed by the funeral service (where, even though you're grief stricken, you're expected to perform with some social grace). So how can you possibly survive, or better yet thrive, during such trials as these? Here are some suggestions we believe you'll find valuable.

Maintain a state of "mindful awareness."

The tendency when something bad happens to us, like the death of a loved one, is to detach from our physical, emotional and social selves. To "get numb, and stay that way" - but this effort to separate ourselves from what's happening isn't always in our best interest. Instead, you should seek to be "mindful": to keep your awareness on the present moment (not the past, and certainly not the future); all the while acknowledging (and accepting) your feelings, thoughts, and bodily reactions to your loss. Only then can you, in the words of Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer, accept the things that cannot be changed, have the courage to change the things which can (and should) be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Certainly, you cannot change the fact your loved one has died; but you can change (at least to some degree) the way you react to the loss—and that takes a certain sense of mindful self-awareness. 

Do everything you can to stay physically healthy.

The list of physical symptoms of grief is long: fatigue, body aches and pains, loss or change of appetite, shortness of breath, digestive issues, feelings of heaviness, and tightness in your throat or chest. When faced with an onslaught of physical symptoms like these, it's hard to know exactly how to deal with them. The first step is to recognize and name what your body is experiencing. Only then can you do something to change the way you're reacting to the loss. During these days before the funeral:
  • Stay hydrated: drink eight (8 ounce) glasses of water.
  • Eat regularly: small meals and snacks are often better-accepted than large, calorie-laden ones.
  • Rest regularly: you may find nights are long and sleepless, so don't be adverse to taking short cat-naps throughout the day.
  • Move your body: take a walk or hike, go to the gym, or enjoy a leisurely swim.
  • Nurture your senses: listen to music or the sounds that abound in nature.
  • Engage in prayer or meditation: tap into, or get reacquainted with, your spiritual side.
  • Reduce your list of necessary activities and chores: now is the time to delegate tasks to others, so you can devote your time to self-care.

Reach out to your support network.

Neighbours, friends and family members can be your lifeline right now - and some of them may even be coming to you right now to see how they can help. Don't turn them away; instead, give them the opportunity to give the gift of service. Allow them to walk this path with you for as long as, and in whatever ways, they can. The same goes for the network of professional caregivers: don't neglect to turn to clergy, your family physician, therapist, or grief counsellor if you feel your bereavement to be more than you can handle (now, or at any time in the future).

Prepare to speak less and listen more.

End-of-life ceremonies (whether a "traditional" funeral, memorial service or celebration of life) offer those gathered the chance to share their feelings, tell stories and take comfort from one another. Don't spend too much time talking, unless it's to share something truly meaningful (about the deceased and your relationship to him or her) with others; instead, be ready to listen with a whole heart. This is a time for respectful interactions with other mourners; a time for focusing on the life of the deceased, and also a time for renewing the ties which brought you all together in the first place.

Let Us Help with Planning a Funeral Service

Who better to turn to for assistance in planning a funeral service? We've got the experience and insights which could make this situation easier for you and those you love. If you have questions about preparing for a funeral service—either as a member of the family or as a guest—we're here to support you in any way we can. We're standing at the ready; simply call us.
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Sources:
  1. Shakespeare, William, "Henry V" 
  2. Petch , Alison, "Funeral and Mourning Clothing", England, the Other Within, accessed March, 2015
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